The whole enormity of my situation just hit me. Here are the current status of my situation in no particular order:
- I am one of the oldest students at the university at the moment, because I am a junior and all the seniors are away on their internship programs.
- My best friend is leaving to Japan tomorrow evening and I didn’t have a chance to meet with her and some other friends yesterday evening, because it was TOO late for me to be out in my mother’s recent perspective about mine life outside home and school – which is actually none to nil. And me being “grounded” is making my c-r-a-z-y.
- The overload of the school in the junior is getting BIG. I can just float around, but how can I do that despite my nature – struggling to be a good student.
- Having no one to really confide in and trust in is kinda “bursting” and end up making me confide in wrong people, I guess. Which in the end, I will lose my “own”.
- The feeling of purposelessness in taking over and starting to conflict with everything that is already there.
1+2+3+4+5, it was a whole rambling of shit.
Thank you for your time and I am sorry that I inevitably wasted your time.